The sadness in my heart
I never felt so stupid until last fri. I never knew wat heart pain is until last fri. I never knew tat after I trust a person so much n wat I get after tat is betrayal until last fri. I never knew tat he could actually lied n came up with such beautiful stories until last fri. I never knew tat u would like a slut until last fri.
Why didnt I trust my sixth sense when it is sensing tat something is wrong? When u r actually with another gal in Malaysia n Chalet n it happens three times.
How do u expect me to trust u tat nothing happen tat night after u have betrayed me so many times? You expect me to believe tat when a fish is at a cat's mouth, the cat would not want to eat? An overnight stay is purely because you just want to spend more time with her? Then why come back to me since u prefer her than me? U should have continue to choose a slut like her. Someone who acts like an angel who asks u to come back to me after she has snatched u away from me in e first place. How 'kind' can she get?
I put up an entry yesterday n I deleted it away cause u actually called me up to scold me until I cried in e office. You still have feelings for her n u r so defensive of her. I am actually starting to get jealous of her cause when last time I was right, u would scold me instead cause u choose to believe in an outsider rather than me. Now it is e case.
Why do I have to be e one who suffers n cry? But when I said anything bad abt her, I am e one who gets it?
Now I am e victim, but she gets sheltered n not me! Sounds funny.
She can sue me if she says tat I tarnish her reputation if she saw wat I wrote! But can u or her ever compensate the internal injuries tat I have now? The pain tat is forever hurting whenever this sentence 'I just want to spend more time with her' comes to my mind.
Anyway wat reputation can she gets after doing this kind of thing? Just because of wat her ex-bf does to her before, she must do this to other gal. Wat has her parents taught her? How to be a slut when acting like an angel when snatching other gal's bf? Or how to make other gal's bf being twisted round her little finger?
I am always trying to tell myself not to cry. If I want to cry, I must cry at hm cause no one would see e sadness in me. I tried but I failed cause Ivy, lily n jan saw tat I was sad n was very quiet yesterday. I cried on my way back to e office, e tears just start to flow down non-stop.
Wat have I done to deserve this? n u could actually say tat it was partially my fault tat our relationship comes to an end! Wat have I not do? Acting like an slut like her?
I can only say sorry I would not do tat. Cause I have being brought up properly n I have always knew in my mind tat never become a third party n break up other ppl's relationship cause there is such thing called retribution. Wat comes round, goes round. Those kind of ppl will never get gd ending no matter how many gd things tat try to do in e end. n even she does not get it this life, she will get it next life n continually.
U could actually ask me tat i put my status in friendster as single. It sound so funny, u know? Wat can I put instead of single? In a relationship when u put ur too as single?
But I will try to let my heart heal slowly cause it is making me painful n I do not like it.
Dear friends, after u have read this entry, pls do not get angry or upset. Pls let me the wounds on my body n heart to heal.
Why didnt I trust my sixth sense when it is sensing tat something is wrong? When u r actually with another gal in Malaysia n Chalet n it happens three times.
How do u expect me to trust u tat nothing happen tat night after u have betrayed me so many times? You expect me to believe tat when a fish is at a cat's mouth, the cat would not want to eat? An overnight stay is purely because you just want to spend more time with her? Then why come back to me since u prefer her than me? U should have continue to choose a slut like her. Someone who acts like an angel who asks u to come back to me after she has snatched u away from me in e first place. How 'kind' can she get?
I put up an entry yesterday n I deleted it away cause u actually called me up to scold me until I cried in e office. You still have feelings for her n u r so defensive of her. I am actually starting to get jealous of her cause when last time I was right, u would scold me instead cause u choose to believe in an outsider rather than me. Now it is e case.
Why do I have to be e one who suffers n cry? But when I said anything bad abt her, I am e one who gets it?
Now I am e victim, but she gets sheltered n not me! Sounds funny.
She can sue me if she says tat I tarnish her reputation if she saw wat I wrote! But can u or her ever compensate the internal injuries tat I have now? The pain tat is forever hurting whenever this sentence 'I just want to spend more time with her' comes to my mind.
Anyway wat reputation can she gets after doing this kind of thing? Just because of wat her ex-bf does to her before, she must do this to other gal. Wat has her parents taught her? How to be a slut when acting like an angel when snatching other gal's bf? Or how to make other gal's bf being twisted round her little finger?
I am always trying to tell myself not to cry. If I want to cry, I must cry at hm cause no one would see e sadness in me. I tried but I failed cause Ivy, lily n jan saw tat I was sad n was very quiet yesterday. I cried on my way back to e office, e tears just start to flow down non-stop.
Wat have I done to deserve this? n u could actually say tat it was partially my fault tat our relationship comes to an end! Wat have I not do? Acting like an slut like her?
I can only say sorry I would not do tat. Cause I have being brought up properly n I have always knew in my mind tat never become a third party n break up other ppl's relationship cause there is such thing called retribution. Wat comes round, goes round. Those kind of ppl will never get gd ending no matter how many gd things tat try to do in e end. n even she does not get it this life, she will get it next life n continually.
U could actually ask me tat i put my status in friendster as single. It sound so funny, u know? Wat can I put instead of single? In a relationship when u put ur too as single?
But I will try to let my heart heal slowly cause it is making me painful n I do not like it.
Dear friends, after u have read this entry, pls do not get angry or upset. Pls let me the wounds on my body n heart to heal.
posted by Si Ni as known as baby08 at
8:42 AM
3 Comments:
*HUggies*
Hope u wld gradually move on though i noe its hard.
Remember we all wld support u!
We always by ur side ger!
Take care
Come, I gv you and big hug and a trolly of warmth free of charge. There is more then 1 tree in a forest. If the tree you chose before cant gv you the shelter you want, dun be depress as you can always scout for a new tree. I remember one sentence from a forward email long ago : "Dun cry because you never know who is falling in love with your smile". Be happy. Show tt you can be better off w/o tt tree, you can always buy an umbrella mah.
nini,
i dunno wat to say. i understand how u feel. no matter wat, u r a fren whom i reali treasure in my heart. even if u call n jus cry w/o saying anything, i will listen to u...give us a chance to love u ok?
we will be ur umbrellas...
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