Wat do I mean to u?

Sometimes it really saddens me wat I really mean to each individual!
A gal who can be bullied? A gal who deserves all e rubbish in her life? A gal whose kindness deserves to be misunderstood n be stepped? A gal who doesnt deserve anything gd in her life?
Wat do I really mean to everyone?
Seeing me getting sad n cry really make everyone very happy, is it?
I just want to be a normal gal who wants a normal life! Wat is wrong with tat?
I am getting so sick of everything!
When I am down or I want a better job, who is there to pick me up?
Sometime I really felt tat no one actually help me at all! No one cares abt whether I am being bullied in my job!
I can tell u now is I am getting so sick of my present job! Really sick! I felt so sandwiched between my mgt n clients! I get scolded particularly by everyone n everyday! Everyone only see e wrongs n bad I do, no one sees when I get so stressed up in work!
I am a human, not a machine. I am a person who strives to do well in watever I do, so I particularly stress myself so much tat I blame myself so hard when a problem crops up!
I want everyone to look up on me n see tat I achieve wat I have in life today with my own hands. When I have no money, I would work a second job n not beg anyone for money.
Cause why? I dont have anyone to help me! I grew up with tat, no one can help u, not even ur family, relatives or loved ones. Everyone just want to see me fall n cry!
I really felt so sad! Doesnt anyone know? My tears can only go into my stomach! No one can see my tears! Cause no one cares! Why? When I have a problem, everyone runs away! No one wants to share with me!
Why? Si Ni is not impt, is it? Si Ni means nothing to everyone right? Why?
Can someone tell me why?