The emo me..

20 Apr '11 marks my 1 and 1/2 yrs of working life with my previous company. Felt rather sad at the end.. Till e end, there is still no proper saying good-bye meal with all of them.. Grouping is still being practised at the end..

I embarked on my new working life journey on 25 Apr '11 with the new company. Feeling lost and excited at the same time, I told myself tat I can do it no matter how difficult it is. Whenever I felt lost, I would remind myself abt one sentence 'Dare to try'. I always wanted a challenge or something else in my working life. I got it.

Till today 18 May '11, I started to feel discouraged especially after hearing 'So and so have progressed alot and have done a lot of work but for ur, it is still very little, just for ur info'. I am starting to feel tat maybe I am not suitable for this job or am I working too slowly?! I got wat I wanted for but why am I feeling this way?

I hate the feeling when ppl kept chasing me for things.. Especially when they start saying 'I have told u before or I have given u info before u came in and asked u to think rite?!' Being mercenary, have they pay me to do the work before I am being hired?

I also wanted to do things fast.. I only have 8 hrs or rather 7 hrs of work after deducting 1 hr of lunch to do the things on my hand.. When I want to do something, so and so would say 'Can help to do this or can help to do tat?!' I am supposed to sacrifice my after-work time for them too?!

Given less than 1 month experience or rather adjustment in this company, I felt tat i am supposed to turn things over nite.. Am i hired as a magician? Or have I given myelf too much excuses all these while?

I should be happy tat someone gave me a chance to work in this company and try everything on myself knowing tat I no longer have a superior above me to mend my faults.. However, I am starting not to feel this way..

I dont know.. The more I try, the harder it seems to reach.. I shall try till I have no more strength to carry on.. I am feeling like a battery tat is leaking its power..

Jia you, jia you.. I know I CAN.. I will prove them wrong!!